January 7

Winter Break has been wonderful, but time off isn't indefinite and the remaining minutes are tick, tick, ticking away. Adam went back to work yesterday. The brositos had Youth Group this evening and will return to school tomorrow. And Abby will wing her way back to Wheaton on Sunday. And with all of that, "normal" life will resume.

I'm bummed that our three-ish weeks of intensive family time is almost over, but I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to go to dinner tonight with Adam and our girl. It was fun to sit there with her at one of our favorite haunts, munching on tasty salad and Italian food and just sharing life. (And looking at photos of Very Young Abby, who was particularly well-versed in the Art of Messy Eating.)

The time and the memories were blessings.

January 6

I had the best day with this girl of mine, who is pictured zooming through an empty Costco aisle on our shopping cart.

We started at the Mother Ship before moving on to our favorite warehouse store, where we stocked up on a handful of essentials and a smaller handful of delicious but less-than-essentials (like macarons and wintry trail mix).

Then later on in the evening, we watched a Lifetime movie that was surprisingly complex and not terrible. We were fully amused and confused by the storyline, which actually kept both of us guessing until the proverbial Final Fifteen Minutes.

Best of all, our conversations with peppered with good-natured witticisms. It was, all in all, really fun. And I am so grateful for the time with my favorite girl. 

January 5

I've been feeling tired of late. I'm sure part of it is aging because that is most definitely happening. And I can probably also tie it to an increase in dreams about Logan; me looking for him or wishing he was here. Or, in some cases, losing him all over again and dealing --again-- with the freshness, the awful newness, of those feelings.

I don't expect that I'll ever get over what happened.  I've learned to live with it as best I can over the course of the past nearly-13 years. I've consciously looked for the blessings that have arisen from our tragedy. I've taken note of the ways that God used his passing to transform me into a better person. But that doesn't mean that it's not still hard. It is. I am scarred.

So yes, the scars and the dreams make me tired. But when I was in church this morning, singing this song -- "all my life You have been faithful, all my life You have been so, so good" -- the truth of those words hit me right in the middle of all of that weariness. 

And my heart and spirit absorbed the message; took it in like honey from Heaven: God is good, all the time. Even when I'm tired and when my heart aches and when I'm not sure what to do next. God is still good. 

January 4

Adam and Isaac are both interested in strategy games, so it makes sense that they enjoy playing them together.

They've been playing Diplomacy for a few days now. It's not really my kind of game so I've never taken the time to understand it very well, but they're fully involved in making their orders.

And it's a blessing to see them having a good time together.

January 3

I don't usually try to crash my kids' friend-outings, but I knew Abby was meeting Gracie at the Mother Ship this morning and it was unusually busy there, so I stuck around after I'd finished my coffee to hold a table.

The two of them have been friends for quite a long while now, so when I saw them together again for the first time in quite a while, it took me back in time to when they were younger; to when I was younger, too.

They're both wonderful young women now, but that little whiff of the way things were was a blessing on a rainy Friday morning.

January 2

I had so much fun playing cards after dinner this evening.

Brady brought a quintet of his favorite animals down for the occasion, and there was plentiful laughter and silliness and general chicanery around the table.

But my favorite moment came as the very last hand drew to a dramatic close. Isaac, who finished last in nearly every round, unexpectedly won. He celebrated his victory as the unseated Abby shouted "no!" and the rest of us just laughed and laughed. 

I know I wrote this yesterday, but I do so love playing games with my family. Tonight I especially loved how well Isaac handled losing over and over again. He could've gotten frustrated, but he cheerfully made light of his misfortune instead. I know life doesn't always work this way, but it was a nice reminder that sometimes, even after finishing last over and over (and over) again, the Nice Guy does win. So if you're in a place where you're wondering if you're ever going to get ahead, just keep trying. You never know when you'll finally hit pay dirt.

January 1

The first day of 2025 was a low-key one. (Mostly. When I first got up, Isaac and Brady were in full Teen Boy Coursing With Testosterone mode, but the roughhousing eventually wore them out and a quiet house was the result.)

Anyway, some of us watched a "Lord of the Rings" movie, some of us crocheted, some of us cleaned up the kitchen, and some of us went for a walk. (In order: not me, me, me, and not me.)

And then after dinner I suggested we play cards, so after the dishes were cleared (save Brady's, since he's still in the "if I don't like how this looks I'm not eating it" phase), the boys put on their shades and Adam dealt a deck for a few rounds of Class Struggle.

I love playing cards with these people. I love that they're all old enough now to play both fairly and competitively. And I love the laughs that inevitably punctuate the games. It was a fun activity to start the New Year, and I am grateful for the time together.