June 4

I had such a hard time picking today's image. I saw several dear old friends (not that they're literally old... I've just known them for a while) and took pictures with nearly all of them. We also went for a drive through the vast, beautiful countryside that afforded yet more photo opps, had lunch at a favorite old haunt of mine, AND got ice cream at a popular local joint that I hadn't visited in over 20 years. But despite my indecision, I finally made a selection, though even up to this very minute I'm not sure it's the right one because it may well be the most personal picture I've ever shared here. And I'm not sure how I feel about doing it.

This is the first house I ever lived in.

I lived here from birth until roughly age seven, when my parents split up. I have very conflicted feelings about this house; though I have a collection of very good memories there, I also have an equally strong assortment of not-so-good ones.

I had a recurring dream about being there several years ago, and I always feel the pull to drive by when I'm back in the area. I don't know why; maybe it gives me a chance to say I'm bigger than you. I'm over the things I remember that weren't pretty. Or maybe it gives me a chance to say I remember playing with GI Joe action figures out by the dogwood tree. And I remember racing Matchbox cars down the hallway and I remember watching Gilligan's Island and Mr. Rogers in the family room with the old orange carpet.

Or maybe it's a conflation of both. Maybe it gives me the chance to remember all of those things --the good as well as the bad-- and own them. Or, more accurately, to acknowledge that God owns them. Because it's always good to recognize that ultimately, God owns it all. At least, that's what I think.