June 9

Tomorrow, Abby will perform during two dance recitals. I too performed in the last five recitals, so it'll be a big change for me to actually sit in the audience and watch the shows. Actually, the last time I sat in the audience, Logan was still with us. Abby was in Princess Ballet at the time and she danced to a song called "Journey to the Past." He'd only recently been released from the hospital post-stem cell transplant, so he donned a big, protective facial mask and we sat up in the balcony away from most of the crowd. It feels like a lifetime ago. But I digress (as I so often do).

Today was rehearsal day. While she waited for the Little Boys to put on their shoes so we could head to the theater, she pulled out her phone to text a friend.

I just cannot believe that this grown-up, beautiful girl is my child. It astounds me that this is the same little girl who used to want to hold Baby Yo-gan when she was a toddler, and who, as a four-year old, talked about being one of the Hula Girls during VBS. She's the same seven-year old girl who knew how important it was to come into the room to say farewell to her best friend (even though I know it must've broken her heart just as it broke mine), and she's the same eight-nine-10-11 year old who didn't let grief render her unable to continue on.

So I guess you could say I'm proud. And very blessed.