July 31

Twelve years ago today, Logan made me --a girl-turned-woman who'd always seen herself with daughters-- a boy-mom. His first few months were tough on me, but once the bumps in the road smoothed out, he made me happier than anyone else on earth. See, while Abby was a daddy's girl, Logan was definitely mine. His smile was like pure sunshine and though he was but a little boy, I know he loved me. And I loved him.

So today we celebrated his birthday. I've said it a few times over the past few days, but I can't really describe how it feels to celebrate the birth of a child who's no longer with you physically. So I won't try. I'll just say that there were videos of his birthdays past and big dangly earrings for me that I know he would've loved (because he loved giving me big jewelry) and a trip to Outback at lunchtime for his treasured brown bread and a shiny new Hot Wheels Corvette and balloons at the cemetery and "Mater's Tall Tales" and a walk around the neighborhood and spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. And birthday cake with candles lovingly lit and extinguished by the rest of us; those who knew him and loved him the best of all.

And we all kept breathing and we all laughed, and most of us probably cried a little, too. And we celebrated, because although aspects of this life can break our hearts, a life well-lived is always worth celebration. Even when there are tears intermingled with the laughter.