November 26

It's not even December yet, but we've kicked the Christmas spirit into overdrive. After lunch, we went on a horse-and-carriage ride complete with jingling bells, and then dropped by the little holiday festival in the quad in front of the movie theater. The kiddos said hi to Santa, and then waited in line for balloon animals (or, more accurately, a balloon wreath, a balloon Frosty the Snowman, and a balloon Flying Batman).

Later, we started the process of decorating our tree. I got out the mini Christmas mugs I've had in the cabinet for years and whipped up some hot cocoa, and Adam turned on the Christmas tunes and lugged several years' worth of decorations in from the garage. And we got to work.

And to be totally honest, my heart wasn't in it. I want to enjoy the fun trimmings of celebrating this season, but it's hard because we're not all here. Logan can't put his ornaments on the tree and he can't create new ones. He can't pose for photos with his siblings and he can't dance around the living room like a fool to the sounds of Bing Crosby. My life will never be as sweet as it once was, and that's a hard truth to face when surrounded by happy people and their beautiful, whole families.

But these smiles make it easier to weather the harder days.