December 31

A year ago right now, I was sitting on the comfortable old couch-from-my-childhood in my grandma's dimly lit family room in Maryland watching TV with Adam and waiting for the ball to drop in New York City. I'm not sure what I expected from 2018 in that moment; I was 11 days from turning 40 and though I was apprehensive about leaving my 30s behind, I also felt a genuine sense of enthusiasm over what could be. I'd really enjoyed 2017 and was excited to see what the next chapter would hold.

Three-hundred and sixty-five days later, as I sit here on my own couch in my own house watching an embarrassingly terrible Lifetime movie with Adam and Abby, I can say with a sober sense of certainty that 2018 was a challenging year for me. There were lots of tears and moments of frustration and feelings of inadequacy that surfaced that undermined my confidence, and in some cases, my very sense of self.

So with a year that I'd call less than a recent favorite nearly in the record books, I'm looking forward to the promise of 2019. I'm looking foward to new beginnings and new adventures and new chances to make memories with friends both near and far, and new and old. And I'm looking forward to spending lots of my time with these people; these amazing people who I'm blessed to call my little family. Because for the blessing of them, I will always be thankful.

Happy New Year to you. Remember to look for God's little winks to you in 2019.