December 11

I think Logan would love this car, because it's blue, it has a cool flame job, and it's a Corvette. All of his favorite automotive attributes wrapped into one. (Well, almost. I'm not sure if it has cool wheels or not, since I never got to ask him exactly what he meant when he talked about cool wheels.)

I found this particular car this morning. It's a harder one to come across, so even though I found and bought one last month, I got this one so I could open it and park it in the little Corvette parking lot on my dresser. (The other is still in its package.)

This time of year is incredibly bittersweet, and though I've managed to evade those mixed feelings for a while now, I know they're catching up to me like they do every year. I wish I had a more eloquent way to put this, but it sucks that he's not here. It sucks that I'm not getting to see him as an 11-year old and that he won't be here to open presents with us on Christmas Day. It just sucks. But still, I'm thankful that something as basic as a 99-cent die-cast car can elicit such powerful --and meaningful-- memories right when I need them. Because the ability to remember how much he loved cars and how his eyes would light up as he talked about them is a priceless gift.